Few dating scenarios can prepare you for the challenge of dating a single mother. The mere fact that she is a mother should tell you that she has experience with men. The single mother is confident of her relationship needs and will tell you upfront what she expects and wants from you. If you are considering dating a single mother, there are a few things you should know.
First, you must realize that when dating single mothers, there is more to the equation than the two of you-there is a child or children to consider too. Dating single parents can be equally challenging for someone who has never had their own children as it is for single mothers. In single parenting, her child will be the main recipient of her love. Can you deal with second place in her life?
As you’re learning how to date single moms, be prepared for some unusual questions which may be a little personal. These questions are perfectly normal, especially if the single mother you’re with is planning on introducing you to her children. They need to know as much as possible about you and your life. On the other hand, there are some instances where single mothers are nothing more than desperate women looking for a man to be the father to their children, to help raise them and care for them, to pay the bills, and to give her freedom from the kids for awhile.
Talking about her ex-husband or father of her children shouldn’t be seen as inappropriate as long as you only discuss the things you really need to know.
You have a right to know if the ex-partner is still an active presence in her life, either as a custodial parent or friend or a deranged stalker, a jealous ex-husband or a deadbeat father who isn’t living up to his responsibilities.
When dealing with her children, expect some resistance and even some resentment no matter how sincere and likeable you are. Children of single mothers may have a tremendous amount of anxiety about meeting their mother’s new boyfriend and could hate you and see you are a threat to their father, whether you intend to be or not. Don’t expect too much too soon from her children. Exercise patience and compassion from the beginning and give her some time to sit with her older children and tell them all how good you are to her.
There could be a significant reward to dating a single mother. She could end up as the most devoted and loving woman you ever meet. Dating a single mother may be a slow and steady process but well worth it in the end.
Olderbutwiser is the author of Dating For Today’s Man — The Online Dating and Relationship Guide For Men. More articles can be found at Dating For Today’s Man.
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