As you know, it’s incredibly rough to raise a child/ children all by yourself. Regardless of the reason behind having or raising the children alone, the time could come in your life when you may want to explore sharing your life with another adult. When that recognition comes, you are liable to wonder about how to handle dating as a single mom.
Your life is your own, and the conclusion you come to about the paths you take needs nobody’s permission or approval. Realistically, though, if you want things to go smooth, you will want to make clear and get your child’s or children’s buy-in for going ahead with this step. This is a key tip if you’re single, as children are prone to feeling especially apprehensive about any hint of having to share your affection and attention with someone else. Once they feel confident that this will never happen, you will find your kids will be on your side all the way.
One thing to keep in mind, if you do decide to go on a date, do your best to enjoy yourself. Single mothers have been playing mom for too long; it gets tricky for them to separate themselves from worrying about their kids, which is completely normal and understandable. You probably will have a tendency to carry worries of home and children along with you when you go out. You will perhaps be tense and not prepared to enjoy the moment as it happens. If you find this to be the case, just explain to your date what is going on so he doesn’t take it personally and think it is because of something he did. He may be a single parent himself, and son will likely be very understanding.
Another thing to be aware of is to remember to not to allocate the time you have planned to spend with the children, for your dating time.
If this is the only free time you have available, then you may not be ready yet. At least make certain that your children have the quality time they need with you so they don’t experience the dates as a taking away of your time with them. This is really important, since you want the children to collaborate with you in re-shaping your life.
The third thing I’d like you to know is that you should talk to your children so they get that you have interests and pleasures outside the home too, and that this is normal for grown-ups. They shouldn’t be thinking of you as something that belongs to them and that can’t have any life outside of the family. From the start, let them know you need time for yourself, whether it’s just for relaxation, a hobby, or dates. Most children should be able to accept that you have to have other interests outside family life; and feel it poses no threat to your relationship with them.
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