Divorce is not uncommon. Common reasons given for divorce includes infidelity, abuse, poor communication, change in priorities, money problems, disagreements about children, lack of commitment, sexual problems, addictions, failed expectations, and a combination of the aforementioned. Relationships dont just fall apart overnight. They deteriorate over time.
Abuse should be a no-brainer relationship ender! If you are in a relationship with an abusive person, please seek assistance and get out! No one deserves to be abused. It is important that you allow people to help you escape the abusive relationship because it is nearly impossible to do it alone. Abuse comes in many forms to include neglect, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and physical abuse.
Neglect is the most common form of abuse. Neglect occurs when someone fails to provide for their loved ones needs. Sexual abuse is unwelcomed touching, intercourse, or exploitation of your body. Emotional abuse is the most difficult form of abuse to recognize. Emotional abuse occurs when someone threatens you, humiliates you, calls you names, puts you down, accuses you, insults you, or damages your property. Perpetrators often control the victims finances, are overprotective of the victim, and keep track of where the victim goes. Perpetrators often isolate victims from their friends and loved ones. Physical abuse is the easiest form of abuse to recognize. When someone hits, slaps, beats, burns, kicks, stabs, or shoots you, the damage is obvious.
Infidelity often wrecks relationships when couples fail to openly and honestly communicate. Once trust is broken, it is nearly impossible to repair and regain. Poor communication, change in priorities, lack of commitment, and failed expectations can all cause the demise of a relationship.
Changing priorities is a difficult issue to address. As people grow and evolve, its important to try to grow and evolve together. Otherwise, you may end up with a very different person than they were when they entered the relationship.
Honesty is always the best option. Divorce is never an easy choice. It is wise, however, to be brutally honest about your ability and desire to remain in a relationship. Do not stay with someone for financial security, because you are afraid to leave them, or because you dont want anyone else to have them. Those options are not fair to you or the other person.
Holly Smith, Ph.D., ABD, has been a credentialed school psychologist for the past 10 years, has experience working as a social worker dealing with families and children, and has taught graduate-level courses in psychology.
Although writing this book, in-part, comes directly from her personal experience during divorce, her vast professional experience lends to the required technical and theoretical expertise. For more information, please visit www.healingheartsnetwork.com.